Hi Burgers,

Here to ring in the new year as the first Featured User of 2014 is heyman! This user is a green clad, improv acting, ninja (slash) karaoke connoisseur. Since that is probably one of the most awesome titles one is able to have, let’s get on with the show.

1. We’d love to hear the story behind your username!
My username is my last name. People must be psychic because they will call out Heyman before they even find out what my last name is. Heyman is not my original last name. I like to tell people I changed it after going into witness (or witless) relocation but the truth is it my step fathers last name and changed to it when I was a teen.

2. How long have you been a member of the Cheezburger community and what made you want to join?
4 years? Not 100% sure. I was captioning pictures in MS Paint and being lazy I thought there has to be an easier way. I did a Google search and I Can Has Cheezburger was one of the first hits. My home and work life weren’t going the way I planned and I needed a break at the end of the day. The community and the never ending cat captions reeled me in.

3. What do you look for in a Cheez friend, and what’s the best way to make a new friend?
I have my core group of friends that I look forward to seeing their captions everyday. I always take a serious look when someone friend requests me. I look at the lols they have made, how many friends they have and if we have friends in common. I am looking for someone that comes across as caring and is here for a couple minutes of fun. If someone looks like a Catfish or a friend collector I tend not to accept their friend request. With someone who is new to ICHC I may wait a week or two to decide if I should add them just to get a feel of what they are about.

4. What is your favorite site on Cheezburger and why?
The User Dashboard is where you will find me most of the time and occasionally I will go to Lolcats. Because of the friends I have I find the Dashboard the best place to see a wide range of different lols from many different sites in a short amount of time.

5. What is it about Cheezburger that makes you happy?
There isn’t a lot of pressure to be something on the site. If I am in the mood just to be here a couple of minutes, great. If I want to chat there is always someone around. I have been working a lot of late nights and get to chat with people on the other side of the world or other late night friends in the same time zone. I like the feedback I get right away on my captions. My goal is to get at least one vote. There is a lot of satisfaction in knowing one other person in the world got it. I also like that I can create something that is just for me and gets whatever is rolling around inside my head out.

6. Tell us something super interesting about yourself—an embarrassing story, a quirky habit, something that will make us laugh!
I am not a great singer but love to go to karaoke. Karaoke forces me out of my comfort zone and my apartment. One thing that drives me crazy at karaoke is people get up and sing the same 4 songs week after week. Yes I get it, you have friends in low places. My goal is to never sing the same song twice, which can lead to total train wrecks but also cracks people up when I sing something like Sweet Transvestite.

7. If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be? Cheezburgers?
I have been eating a lot of bachelor chow over the last couple of years and have pretty much burnt out on junk and comfort foods. Right now I would probably go crazy if I could only eat one thing. I don’t like to cook but have been forcing myself to get back in the habit and part of this is experimenting with different foods.

8. If you could create a new feature for Cheezburger members to use on our sites what would it be, and why do we need it?
Android LOL Builder. Fix up the mobile site. Menus were horrible and now they are gone. Reposted by would be nice as well. My friends do a good job of telling me when I am making an a** of myself with a caption. It would be a lot easier on everyone if there was a sober second thought option on the lol builder.

9. What else do you like to do when you’re not on the Internet?
I play multiplayer games. Currently the game of choice is World of Tanks. Since my separation I have been devouring books. I have been reading a new one every couple days. Lots of murder mystery’s. You know the ones: the detective/police officer has some sort of handicap/issue in his life. Gruff/not that good looking but for some reason the ladies love him. He might even have Aspergers which enhances his ability to solve crimes. Friends on ICHC have been very helpful in suggesting books to read.

10. Where do you often find inspiration for your LOLs?
The Barenaked Ladies song “One Week” has the lines:
How can I help if I think you’re funny when you’re mad
Tryin’ hard not to smile though I feel bad
I’m the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral
Can’t understand what I mean? Well, you soon will
Pretty much how my mind works. In find humour in things that maybe I shouldn’t. My site for lols about my ex is probably one of those things I shouldn’t have done. I like pop culture and current events and draw a lot of my stuff from there. Captioning also triggers the part of the brain that I used a lot in my late teens early 20’s while doing Improv with a local theatre company. I don’t always know where the idea came from but it is in me somewhere.

11. Do you have any favourite vacation spots? Is there somewhere you’ve never been that you’d like to go?
I like staying close to home. I live a few hours away from the west coast of Canada so there are a lot of places to go. Hotsprings being one of my favourites. That being said I really enjoyed and look forward to going back to Playa Del Carmen, Mexico.

12. If you had a million dollars, what would you do with it?
God and I have talked and we have come to the understanding that I am not allowed to win the lottery because I wouldn’t be a good steward of the money. At least that is what he told me.

13. Do you have any animal companions, or have you had any in the past? What is special about them?
I am currently petless and sad about it. Maybe in 2014. My favourite was a Maine Coon cat name Black Adder, Adder for short. He ended up being around 20lbs and lived for 18 years. He had a vocabulary of 100’s of words. He would follow me to bed and we would talk before going to sleep. He always seemed to understand me.

14. It looks like you have an interest in acting? Any good stories you’d like to tell or fun roles you’ve played? How did you get into acting originally?
I was a shy kid and still am today in my offline life. In high school I wanted to pick an easy class and decided to take drama. I lucked out, my teacher had just taken classes with Keith Johnstone in Calgary, Alberta who had just created a new kind of Improv called Theatre Sports. Ms Paterson decided that this was the way she was going to teach her drama classes. I did three years of classes, two years as a student teacher and then spent time at Loose Moose Theatre in Calgary. The year after I graduated the faculty of the high school decided that Theatre Sports wasn’t drama and forced her to go back to doing plays. They wanted something that was easier to give grades to. I would have hated drama if I had to recite the same words day after day. I don’t always do well when I meet new people or have to do small talk, improv helped me over come some of that shyness. My friends get a kick out of my quirky / dry sense of humour. You may notice that some of my captions are out there and they probably come from this time in my life. I look back at some of my old captions and wonder what the hell I was thinking.

Thanks to heyman, whose real name is Heyman, for starting the year off right!

Have a great inaugural 2014 weekend everyone!