Hi Burgers,

Hailing from the home of the latest World Cup champions (he claims he’s not a fan, but I’ll bet he’s wearing his jersey right now), Anselm is a natural born Internet entertainer. From IRL agnosticism to spam and lobster thermidor, this interview is just top notch. Maybe we can get him to do an opinion column on the blog?

We’d love to hear the story behind your username!
Oh that is great. I can start with a really silly one. It is just my first name followed by the first two letters of my last name. You may call me Anselm if you like.
And it is just my email address without the domain part. (I may need to change that now)

How long have you been a member of the Cheezburger community and what made you want to join?
Since Tuesday. Do you remember that quote from Jerry Maguire? The one that Cuba Gooding Jr. made? I would like to recite it my way: SHOW! ME! THE! LOLS!
BTW: That was Tuesday the ninth of march in 2010 at 08:50h (+0100h). I still have that confirmation email.

What do you look for in a Cheez friend, and what’s the best way to make a new friend?
Ahh, this one is simple. Anybody that likes the same stuff as I do is more than welcomed. I’ve only had to say goodbye to one person so far. He was flooding my space with brony stuff. Don’t get me wrong. Some of that stuff is funny even for a non-brony. But it was just too much. Long story short: What I like in the Cheezburger Community is that people don’t shove up your face what they are all about. Like if you’re a vegan. That’s cool for you. But you don’t mind me eating this juicy looking steak, do you? Nobody gives a fuss about it. Not like in many other communities.


What is your favorite site on Cheezburger and why?
I like to start the day with icanhas for a good laugh about some funny animals. Especially cats. Then I head over to señor gif (That is with a hard G like in “give” if you’re from around my place), Some school of fail, monday2friday, comix, memebase, Win!, Hotdog, After12, Art-of-Trolling, FailBlog, ROFLRAZZI, Parenting (I’m a father to a 12 year old girl), poorlydressed, SiFi, Dating and the Daily What. Other that I look for some nice new messages like from my dear friend Annie (Hello Annie, Huhu!!! Can you see me? I’m on the internets!!!). After that I’ll just cruise around and see what others liked. If I still have some time. The first part takes at least two hours a day …

What is it about Cheezburger that makes you happy?
I can express what I think is funny and what I would like to share. And it amazes me that there are people out there, all over the world, against all boundaries and borders that like the same silly stuff. And we all can meet here.


Tell us something super interesting about yourself—an embarrassing story, a quirky habit, something that will make us laugh!
I don’t know. I may need to call someone. Do I still have the telephone joker?
Hmm, okay. Something embarrassing? There is a picture of myself (Hint: with Headphones) in my stuff.

(I looked, but I couldn’t find it. Come on Anselm, let’s have it).


If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be? Cheezburgers?
You mean like stranded on an island and only fish? That reminds my of something:
Egg and bacon

Egg, sausage and bacon

Egg and Spam

Egg, bacon and Spam

Egg, bacon, sausage and Spam

Spam, bacon, sausage and Spam

Spam, egg, Spam, Spam, bacon and Spam

Spam, Spam, Spam, egg and Spam

Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, baked beans, Spam, Spam, Spam and Spam

Lobster Thermidor aux crevettes with a Mornay sauce, garnished with truffle pâté, brandy and a fried egg on top, and Spam.

I’ll guess Cheezeburgers are better than Spam. So I’ll have them, please.


If you could create a new feature for Cheezburger members to use on our sites what would it be, and why do we need it?
O Boy, I would bring the Collectibles back. Those were fun days.
(I’m still missing all of the “Sketchy Bunnies”)

What else do you like to do when you’re not on the Internet?
You mean like IRL? That is a trick question, isn’t it? Oh boy, you almost had me there.
You know I am an IRL-Agnostic. I won’t believe in the Real Life until somehow, something or some omnipotent being proves to me that such a thing exists.

Where do you often find inspiration for your LOLs?
In Pop Culture, the media, reading the news … But the best ones are from watching people.


Do you have any favorite vacation spots? Is there somewhere you’ve never been that you’d like to go?
It’s that trick question again, hmm. Fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me, you can’t get fooled again..

If you had a million dollars, what would you do with it?
Change them to Euros as quick as I can. You know, the economy and stuff.
(You mad?)

Do you have any animal companions, or have you had any in the past? What is special about them?
Of course I have.
“Oh look, Daddy brought you two sweet little white mice. Take good care of them little Anselm.” “I will Mommy!” … “Mommy look, I was so good to them they brought some little friends.”
(My father was assured in the pet shop that those were two female rats)
“Mommy look, the little ones can crawl out of the cage”
Soon, the rats were never to be seen again.
Next try was a Hamster … (Has anybody seen the Hamster?)

Sometime later my Dad brought a cat. My Mother didn’t wanted it so “they” gave it to my Grandma. She took the feeding very seriously. Boy, buy a saddle and take a ride around the town.

Some very long time later my brother brought two cats, siblings, home with him. They were nice to each other when they were young and so sweet to look at. Vito and Campiona.
My Brother left them in good family tradition with my mother and went on with his life. Later, my Mother gave Vito away cause both couldn’t be held in one house together anymore without constantly fighting.

And the young couple that lived in my house were kind enough to take Campiona. Since Campiona knew me much longer she spent lots of time in my place. And all was happy till one day Campiona didn’t come home anymore …

After that I had my Ex’s cat only for two weeks. Just to give him some rest. He was old and “the new kid in town” at my Ex’s place was giving him a hard time. RIP Chopin.
When I think about how many pets have been buried in my garden. I must come to think of that pet cemetery film.

You mentioned your posts sometimes might offend some users. What have you found is the biggest difference between American and European senses of humor?
I don’t think that Europeans laugh about different stuff then Americans. It’s like I said: It looks to me that Americans are easily offended by stuff that we Europeans just don’t care about. Like nudity. Come on. Really? Is it embarrassing to you to see a mother giving her baby the breast in public or on TV? If you don’t want to see it, don’t look at it … It is a natural thing. Or you can’t say f*ck (sorry Anselm, but this proves your point, I guess) on TV. They even blur your lips. From a European Point of View that is just so overreacting. It is okay to see dead people on the news but so help me god if I see one nipple or someone tries to curse I’ll come down on you with furious anger …

And then you have cable-TV-shows like GOTS with all its sex and violence. I call that double-standards.

I know that in Europe a lot of stuff is going wrong. And you might shake your head about stuff I don’t even recognize because it has always been part of my life. But in the age of the Internet the world is getting smaller. I was born in 1970 and have seen the early days of global communications in the 80’s with telephone-dial-in Bulletin Board Systems and Z-Modem file-transfer-protocol to download stuff at 14.4kbit a second. I’ve been around …
And I would like to hear about that stuff you Americans, or other people around the world shake your heads about over us.


You’re clearly a pro Internetter. Do you have any favorite sites that you like to scour for content to share with the community?

Cheezburger: Let me see your browser history.

AnselmBe: You don’t need to see his browser history.

Cheezburger: We don’t need to see his browser history.

AnselmBe: These aren’t the lols you’re looking for.

Cheezburger: These aren’t the lols we’re looking for.

AnselmBe: He can go about his business.

Cheezburger: You can go about your business.

AnselmBe: Move along.

Cheezburger: Move along… move along.


I have to ask, are you a soccer fan? If so, or even if not, how have things been in your part of the country since Germany brought home the Cup? Did you get in on the celebrations?
I had nothing to do with this and I am utterly sorry for BRAZIL. Are you mad? I mean, come on? Haven’t you seen this? I hate those Nazi Memes cause that was a bitter dark piece of my folks history but haven’t you seen this Blitzkrieg?
Vier Sterne Hey Ho!!! 1954! 1974! 1990! 2014!!!
No sorry, I’m not a fan of soccer. Just a little patriotic when it comes to such events. Hey, who wouldn’t.

So these are all the questions you had? I think I left you fair and square with no better view on my person like you had before.

Come on, I’m just getting warm. Ask away …

(That was fun, at least for me)

I had fun too, so that makes two of us. Thanks for the great interview Anselm!

Have a great weekend everyone.