Welcome To The Gnolex Corporation

gnolex

Hi Burgers,

This week’s Featured User has an insatiable appetite for knowledge and watermelon, wants to visit Mars (say hello to JennyBookSeller) and has a mind for computer programming. I’m thinking we’ve got the first interplanetary farming engineer here, a true asset to any colonizing effort. Of course, we want Gnolex to stick around this planet too. He’s a valuable member of the community, and I hear the Internet connections on the Red Planet are pretty dicey.

We’d love to hear the story behind your username!
It started years ago when I used to play OpenTTD. I was never good at coming up with names, especially for myself, so I took random name of a creature: gnoll (see above). Since companies often add -ex to name I decided to do the same and created “Gnolex Corporation” (I forgot there was second L in the name). Since then I use “gnolex” as nickname in games and around the internet.

How long have you been a member of the Cheezburger community and what made you want to join?
I started visiting this website somewhere in 2009 I think. I loved Demotivational posters and things like Totally Looks Like. But I was only browsing images and lurking in the comment sections. And then something funny happened. Pony images started to appear, My Little Brony was created and I was very confused. Why would people like cartoon for little girls? I decided to browse MLB and I see what’s going on. People were making funny things about that silly cartoon and I liked that. Few months later I decided to actually watch the show and I loved it. I became actual user in late January 2012 when I created an account and started commenting.

i.chzbgr

What do you look for in a Cheez friend, and what’s the best way to make a new friend?
I like people who are friendly, funny, open minded, tolerant and have a sense of humor. I let other people decide whether they want to be friends with me or not. I think the best way to make a new friend is to look for someone with similar interests in places or websites you know and try to get to know each other. The more compatible your friends are to you the better.

What is your favorite site on Cheezburger and why?
My Little Brony. It’s like second home for me. I visit it every day.

What is it about Cheezburger that makes you happy?
Most people here are friendly and I can always find something funny.

Tell us something super interesting about yourself—an embarrassing story, a quirky habit, something that will make us laugh!
I have a strange obsession with gathering knowledge. I learn a lot. When I was in secondary school I got a small notebook with 192 pages. I put there various things from mathematics, physics, chemistry and other scientific stuff. It took me just about 2 years to fill it. I left one empty page though. I couldn’t decide what to put there. Now that I have access to Internet I can learn even more stuff and it’s really crazy.

If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be? Cheezburgers?
Oh boy, I have no idea. I love eating but I guess it would be kinda boring if I were to eat only one thing. How about watermelons? I could eat them every day.

If you could create a new feature for Cheezburger members to use on our sites what would it be, and why do we need it?
I wish we could be notified when someone replies to our comment. Sometimes it’s hard to keep track of replies. I know it might be difficult to implement, but it would make things easier.

What else do you like to do when you’re not on the Internet?
I like to play games and make computer programs. I’m learning to draw but I still suck at it. I doubt I will become an artist but I still try because it’s fun.

Where do you often find inspiration for your LOLs?
I like to take a few existing ideas, mix them and try to make something new out of them.

i.chzbgr-1

Do you have any favorite vacation spots? Is there somewhere you’ve never been that you’d like to go?
I prefer to stay at home and relax. I would love to visit Mars one day. It’s not very likely to happen but who knows.

If you had a million dollars, what would you do with it?
I have no idea. I would probably buy things I always wanted to have.

Do you have any animal companions, or have you had any in the past? What is special about them?
I have a male cat Rysiek and a female dog Luna. Rysiek is silly and very lazy. Luna is small dog and she barks loudly but she’s a coward. She’s very afraid of heights.

Always good to have a computer tech in our midst. What is your favorite way to utilize your programming skills? What do you like to make?
From the very beginning I wanted to make computer games. I still want to make games. But I rarely come up with good ideas and I’m not good at game design. However, I have a close friend who is a good game designer. Maybe we’ll make something cool together.

How did you first get into MLP and what do you like about the Brony community? Is there a big Brony following in Poland?
I found ponies when My Little Brony was created. What I like about the Brony community the most is the kind of impact bronies had on the Internet. Some people like us, other people hate us, but I think that we, as community, managed to do something cool. There are many Polish Bronies and I know few in real life, but we don’t talk about ponies.

i.chzbgr-2

I really don’t know what else to write or post, so here’s happy dancing Twilight Sparkle.

Nothing wrong with a little dancing to round out the week. Thanks for the great interview Gnolex, and bravo to Bronies everywhere, the Internet truly wouldn’t be the same without you.

Cheers,
Cheezburger

 

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A Summer Babe Works At Cheezburger

Hi Burgers,

You’ll be unsurprised to learn that we only employ rockstars at Cheezburger. At least, that’s what my mom texts me every morning…

Some of us are the real deal though! This young man is Henry Rose, one of our software engineers.

Tech virtuoso by day, ax-man by night. Slap-a-dat bass, man!

Henry’s band is called Summer Babes. Check out their sweet music video featuring tasty grooves and some actual summer babes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1XwA99TG-uA

Henry is also the proud human of one of the cutest pups I’ve ever seen. Sandwich is one hell of a muse.
Photo 2014-08-21 11_13
Next time the site gets a bit wonky, it’s probably because Henry is off melting faces at a Seattle venue (or taking unlimited photos of his dog and showing them to his coworkers).

Cheers,
Cheezburger

 

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You Can Dump Ice Water On Ben Huh

Hi Burgers,

If you’ve been on the Internet in the last few weeks, you know about the ALS ice bucket challenge. If you’re just arriving, this is essentially where people challenge one another to upend a 5-gallon bucket of ice water over their heads to garner support to fight ALS (otherwise known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease). Everyone from Lady Gaga to Bill Gates has taken part. One of my favorites is Chris Pratt’s.

It was only a matter of time before our very own Ben Huh took up the challenge, but we want to do things a little differently. I’ll let Ben explain.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5T_yiOMYF94

Donate here to help hunt down Ben and douse him with ice water for ALS.

We will be posting hints regarding Ben’s location here.

Happy hunting everyone!

Cheezburger

 

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The Science Of Happiness

Hi Burgers,

How are you all feeling? Happy, I hope (despite the fact that it’s Monday). Over the weekend I stumbled upon a TED Talk about happiness, which I felt obliged to listen to, since we are in the business of joy here at Cheezburger. If you’re just hanging out, it’s pretty interesting. You can find out about the science of happiness, the keys to creating synthetic contentment (that sounds like a drug, but it’s not) and the detriments of mind wandering…

What was I talking about?

Right! You can even take part in the study of happiness and visit TrackMyHappiness.org to, well, track your happiness.

The program obviously begins and ends with a short interview from 2014s ambassador of happiness (and roofless rooms), Pharrell Williams, who recommends that we simply be appreciative of what we have.

What do you think Burgers, is happiness something that can be studied? What makes you happy? Just remember, if you’re feeling down, it’s probably best to just focus on this:

Cheezburger is advancing the science of happiness each and every day.

We appreciate you (and your weird, weird pets)!

Cheers,
Cheezburger

 

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Karlkat Is One Kool Kat

karlkat

Hi Burgers,

Alright Yankee fans, this week we’ve got a die hard Red Sox supporter on our hands. Let the banter commence! I’m not sure, but I think we also have our first Featured User who doesn’t like Cheezburgers. We appreciate your uniqueness Karlkat, bravo.

We’d love to hear the story behind your username!
Nothing special. My name is Karl. I love cats and thought Karlkat looked cooler than Karlcat!

How long have you been a member of the Cheezburger community and what made you want to join?
I think I discovered the site sometime in 2008. After a while I started to think maybe I could do some of these LOL things. I think I first became a member sometime early in 2009.

What do you look for in a Cheez friend, and what’s the best way to make a new friend?
Like I say in my profile, I don’t actively search out friends. I guess I don’t have the time or can’t see how folks would be interested! I don’t mean to be anti-social, especially since my Cheezfriends are such incredibly nice and funny people who love furry family members!

i.chzbgr
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Ben & Jerry & Cheezburger

Hi Burgers,

Ben & Jerry’s is touring around the west coast giving away free ice cream, which is the best thing ever, and they paid a visit to Cheezburger!

6ySYO

6yTDv

Look at how happy we are. Thank you for this gift from the heavens!

Cheers,
Cheezburger

 

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“We’re Gonna Need A Bigger Boat.”

Hi Burgers,

You didn’t think we’d forget about Shark Week did you?

Who says sharks aren’t adorable?

Things started to get a little weird, we had to cut the scene.

Dora, no! Sharks can’t swim backwards!

Of course we had to let the dudes get their revenge.

Thanks to the good people at The Discovery Channel for the sweet hammerhead costume (though our pets want it known that they do not share in this gratitude). Their site has tons of cool Shark Week content, including several live cams. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to spend the rest of the day watching the seal decoy cam (sorry Tofu).

Cheers,
Cheezburger

 

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Vote For Cheezburger At SXSW 2015!

Hi Burgers,

Next year’s SXSW festival in Austin is exactly seven months away and we need your help as we gear up to send a couple of Cheez ambassadors down south. I know it’s odd, but apparently there are still those among us that don’t understand the magic of cats and the Internet. I say to them, do you know about peanut butter and jelly? Flawless reasoning.

Luckily our two panelists have devised arguments that are more nuanced than mine. We have two speakers whose sessions we want your votes for this year.

Ben Huh’s panel is called “When Humor Is More Powerful Than The Truth” and will provide an in-depth look at why humor is such a powerful messaging tool. Ben will explore many ideas including why humor works, whether it actually helps us to understand reality or if it’s distorting it and what the large-scale success of comedy news/satire shows like ‘The Colbert Report,’ ‘The Daily Show’ and ‘Last Week Tonight’ say about society.

Emily Huh is also heading to Texas. Her panel is called “Cats and The Internet: A Love Story” and likely speaks for itself. Emily is joining forces with Will Braden, the human of Henri The Existential Cat, to try and explain and give insight to cat lovers and skeptics alike concerning that age old question, why are cats so popular on the Internet?

Please head over to the pages of both panels and cast your vote today!
uncleben 2
Please note that these talks are in no way a secret brainwashing ploy devised by cats in their ongoing quest for world domination!

Thank you for your help everyone!

Cheers,
Cheezburger

 

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Here’s To You Robin Williams

Hi Burgers,

Yesterday the world lost one of the truly great ones. Words fall short, but Robin Williams always brought a smile to my face (usually more like a hearty and satisfying belly laugh). Even now, I can’t help but thinking of Mrs. Doubtfire hurling a piece of fruit at Pierce Brosnan and telling him it was a “run-by by fruiting.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5U4_zonfvW0

(Thanks for the clip VioletD).

Today I thought we’d use our little corner of the Internet to pay respect to the untimely loss of Mr. Williams with a memorial gif together.

“So it goes.”

Bgcmeowrrrr

Rest in peace,
Cheezburger

Before I go, Robin Williams on golf was a game changer for me when I first heard it. Pure genius. (Language, lots of language).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcnFbCCgTo4

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Trunks Up For Mamawalker!

After much deliberation and careful calculation, we’ve decided that Mamawalker’s caption is victorious. We’re suckers for a good pun after all. Congrats Mamawalker, can I interest you in some celebratory peanuts? (Apologies to elephants everywhere for the stereotype).

peanuts

Happy World Elephant Day
i.chzbgr
Mamawalker
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